I feel like a bad ass chillin’ on my stoop, like I’m one of the cool kids from Hey! Arnold.

I live in a fifth-floor walk-up. The 75 stairs to my apartment really aren’t that bad.

Space is completely overrated.

Times Square is the blackhole of New York.

I am not sure how I will ever be able to leave this city (New York).

It would be unfair for me to have a dog.

Anonymity is the best.

I love froyo, and we are not talking about TCBY. I use to be all about Pinkberry but then I discovered tasti-D-lite.

I feel like I’m trapped on an un-deserted island.

I do not miss driving. Walking is far superior.

No, you cannot wear sweatpants to Bloomingdale’s.

I learned how to properly pronounce my last name from a South African fellow on my birthday.

I do not exist for you (at street harassers).

I don’t “do” Brooklyn.

I lived in the hood, down the street from a drug den. We are talking Jay-z/Biggie Smalls Bed-Stuy.

I am pretty much a professional exterminator at this point.

I have the best roommate that I have ever lived with… and I found her on craigslist.

I got a steal on my apartment. I only pay $900 in rent per month.

Which bridge?

I paid someone to do my laundry.

Never date anyone that lives in Jersey ever.

People think it is weird that I have milked goats.

I have been to more gay bars in this city than any other kind of bar.

I am considering becoming a nude model for art classes.

Why can’t people just curb their dog? I give them some seriously nasty glares.

I am getting use to the smell of the city.

I love opera. Have you seen La Traviata?

I am going to just run to the bodega around the corner.

I have had toilet paper delivered… with dinner. How can you not love this city?

Be careful, eye contact can be an act of overt aggression.

I have jaywalking down to an art form.

I hate the streets with names. Who thought that was a good idea?

Any of you out there in cyberspace have something to add?